Sir, All will be familiar to the perennial problem of maids serving port at cellar temperature, despite frequent correction. It is my delight therefore to note that new maids Myrtle and Tillie (who seem very close friends) do have a technique that serves the most temperate spirit wine
Sir, heavy rains do flood my wine cellars. I send maids Molly and Elsie down to remove the water from spoiling my bottles of vintage brandy. Two hours pass and I hear laughter and splashing. Molly informs me they are appeasing Salacia, the goddess of floodwater. I do admire the rural traditions.
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Sir, My wife has of late been most displeased at the interest I take in managing staff, recently misunderstanding my learning the maid upon methods of uncorking stubborn bottles of wine. Thus today I did delegate the instruction of a lower maid to the housekeeper, whilst I advised from a distance.