Sir, A Gentleman's micturation is a troublesome and time consuming activity. One evening, having consumed my fifth or sixth glass of port, I stumbled upon a solution. I have staff sitting around doing nothing, and they can damn well piss for me. I have enlisted my maid Elsie in testing my idea.
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Sir, Maid Tillie does diligently dust the chaise lounge, and I complement her on this. She responds that she wishes that she might one day afford to sit upon such luxury, but cannot. I have a spare chaise lounge she may sit upon as a treat. But she must not soil it with her dirty work clothes.
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