Sir, Some of my more vulgar acquaintances have pictures of three wise monkeys covering their eyes, ears and mouth entitled "See No Evil", "Hear No Evil", "Speak No Evil" from which they gain some inspiration. I have a far superior picture which I like to study at length for moral guidance.
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Sir, My good [gentleman] friend Captain Reginald Smythe returns from a colonial voyage, bringing back mystic herbs, spices and learnings. He demonstrates to me a most astounding feat, taught to him by a wise guru of the East. I shall inquire about sailings tomorrow.