Sir, heavy rains do flood my wine cellars. I send maids Molly and Elsie down to remove the water from spoiling my bottles of vintage brandy. Two hours pass and I hear laughter and splashing. Molly informs me they are appeasing Salacia, the goddess of floodwater. I do admire the rural traditions.
Sir, My wife has of late been most displeased at the interest I take in managing staff, recently misunderstanding my learning the maid upon methods of uncorking stubborn bottles of wine. Thus today I did delegate the instruction of a lower maid to the housekeeper, whilst I advised from a distance.
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